yup. feeling contented lately. happy with my decisions. happy with what i have right now. really. i may go home feeling tired after work, but still, everytime i walk out of the building, a smile plastered on my face is clearly visible. i wake up every morning feeling excited and nervous at the same time. i maybe quiet most of the time but still, i feel fine. i am happy. most of my officemates at our tower were male engineers but that's not actually a big deal for me. im immune to guy friends since i always have them around since i was still in elementary. hahaha. still, no regrets.

P.S. and tomorrow would be my first night out with them! hahaha. to think i'll be a week old tomorrow too. hihi. 

Mood Swings: sleepy

shucks. happy and yet nervous as hell. my bum days are over. welcome corporate world!

tomorrow is the BIG day. gotta start right. gotta smile the worries away. gotta do my best. gotta learn and most of all remember lotsa things. hahaha. makakalimutin pa naman ako. so review review. lalo na sa mga names! hahaha. hope i can last through out the day. one day at a time ang pananaw ko eh. hahaha. if i can survive tomorrow then i think i can survive the following days too. i just hope for the best. LOOK. i hope. i dont expect. hahaha. i hope for the best but i expect the worst. para kahit ano mangyare, ready and hindi masyado nakaka-shock. whew!

inhale.

exhale.

inhale.

exhale.

inhale.

exhale.

stand tall, stand proud. walk with your head up. SMILE.  

Mood Swings: nervous

been busy lately. nervous most of the time due to the scheduled interviews and exam at this company. i want to do good and give my best shot since i already sacrificed one banking job for what i was hoping would come a better one. so finally here it comes.

was able to watch iron man with mark at gateway on its first day! whew! talk about luck. hahaha. we were supposed to watch forbidden kingdom since i know that iron man will still be available for a few weeks or so. unfortunately, the next screen time was scheduled at 4 pm. and we dont want to waste our time waiting for 2 hours thats why we ended up with iron man. cool. i like the soundtrack. i miss the heavy rock music. the story though is focused more on how iron man was made. the cars are cool. all audi cars. nice. i think robert downey jr. did a great job portraying tony stark. the movie was great but i feel "bitin" during the action scenes. but all in all, its ok. cool.

so now, im enjoying my last days of being a bum. hahaha. sleep and sleep. tv and internet. books. damn. im nervous. hahaha. corporate world is such a scary place. hahaha. but still, i want to be a part of it. i can imagine myself smiling and greeting the pioneers with enthusiasm. well, i hope i can still smile even if some people are just rude and harsh. i'll keep up. i have to hold the leash on my temper hard enough so it wont slip until i know its safe. haha. i just hope that i can withstand the trials that will soon come my way and stick to the company. i'll do my best. and of course, practice the winning-charming smile. hhaha 

Musica: iron man :: black sabbath
Bookworm: iron man quotes
Mood Swings: happy

damn. how come carly smithson goes home when she really did well? double damn. i really like her. she's actually my second bet next to david cook. oh well, i guess the votes really turned it up. i just wish that america would consider talent more as a major factor. hmmmmmm. sad.

my number one bet, of course, david cook. such a powerful voice and very adventurous in re-arranging the melody of every song. well, but of course, he didnt change music of the night, which i may say, he really did good. though my number one favorite from him would still be always be my baby. damn. so hot. hahaha i heart david cook. <3

oooohhh. left handed.

oh, before i forgot. i also like what syesha sang. she really did it well too. with the sexy red dress. whew!

Musica: always be my baby :: david cook

after watching nim's island with phoebe at market market yesterday, we drowned our heartaches away after eating our sinful dinner and dessert. *sigh*

haaaay. after almost 8 years, ngaun lang pinakita sken ng tadhana ang friendster account ni rictor. bket ba ganun ha? eh dati ko pa tintype ung name niya pero walang lumalabas. kanina after sa tagal ko ng nagffriendster, naicipan ko magbrowse ng mga users, tsaka lumabas ung profile niya.

"caught him in the arms of another." (evidence :: urbandub)

syempre, shocked ang lola niyo. i was like, "oh.my.god! whoaaaaah!" super naman ung reaction ko. well haller. 8 years kaya un.

oh, ano naman ang naramdaman ko? asar. oo. asar. xe bket ngaun lang? bket ngaun ku na lang ulet nagkaron ng link? *sigh* nung nagexplore ako sa profile niya, nakita ko na may mga common friends kme. bket talaga hindi pumasok sa icip ko dati na baka may link na xa sa ibang schoolmates nmen before? asar tlaga.

inis. diba asar din un, ibang term lang? haaaaay. eh sa nakakainis eh. hindi ko nga alam kung kanino ako naiinis basta naiinis ako.

unknown. nung makita ko xe xa, in a relationship na ang status. so, "ooooowwwwkaaaaay" naman ang sagot ko. hahaha. pero basta. unknown. ang hirap eh. pag-aaralan ku muna to bago ko bigyan ng proper identification tong feeling na to.

sad. eh xe, parang ang tagal ng nasayang na years. lam niyo un? parang feeling ko, "sana may nagawa ako before." "sana na-kontak ko xa before kpag special occassions. hindi ung dito ko xa sa blog ko binabati ng happy birthday etc..." nakakalungkot xe icipin na pinagkait sken ung 8 years eh.  

happy. xe ganun pren xa. promise. hahaha. ung itsura niya before, ahahaha. physically nagbago lang sa kanya i think was his height and xempre the body. yup. he's been busy all these past years and improved his body. oh well. no personal-public comment from me regarding that matter. in general though, HOT-NESS. hahahaha. just stating what i saw and i appreciate. hahaha.

yuck. desperdo ako makakuha ng kuneksyon ulet sa kanya and to update each other as well, kaya gumawa pa ko aim account. haaaaay. eh hindi ko nga alam kung naaalala pa ba niya ko eh. 

parang ang sakit ng ganun noh? ung tipong, ikaw, naaalala mo ung taong un lage pero ikaw hindi na niya kilala. haaaaay. hindi ko tlaga alam bket ba parang mas malungkot ako. naguguluhan tuloy ako. i just miss him so baaaaad. i want him back here. this feeling is really bringing me down.

 

  

melt with you

Moving forward using all my breath
Making love to you was never second best
I saw the world thrashing all around your face
Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace

I'll stop the world and melt with you
You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time
There's nothing you and I won't do
I'll stop the world and melt with you

(You should know better?)
Dream of better lives the kind which never hate
(You should see why)
dropped in the state of imaginary grace
(You should know better?)
I made a pilgrimage to save this humans race
(You should see why)
What I'm comprehending a race that long gone bye

(I'll stop the world)
I'll stop the world and melt with you
(I'll stop the world)
You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time
(Let's stop the world)
There's nothing you and I won't do
(Let's stop the world)
I'll stop the world and melt with you

The future's open wide

(Let's stop the world)
I'll stop the world and melt with you
(Let's stop the world)
I've seen some changes but it's getting better all the time
(Let's stop the world)
There's nothing you and I won't do
(Let's stop the world)
I'll stop the world and melt with you

The future's open wide

hmmm hmmm hmmm
hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm
hmmm hmmm hmmm
hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm

I'll stop the world and melt with you
(Let's stop the world)
You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time
(Let's stop the world)
There's nothing you and I won't do
(Let's stop the world)
I'll stop the world and melt with you
(Let's stop the world)
I'll stop the world and melt with you
(Let's stop the world)
I'll stop the world and melt with you
(Let's stop the world) 

 

oh, bago mag-isip ng kung anu-ano, yan xe ang pinakikinggan ko. un lang un. haaaaaaaay. missing him. at least, honest! hahahaha 

Musica: melt with you :: modern english
Mood Swings: happy and sad

oooooh. i bought a sketchpad. i dunno. i was craving for one for almost 2 days. so, i bought one and decided to pursue my awful sketches around every notebook i had. hahaha. i remember my notebook in college, the little one, had more sketches at the back than notes on all the lectures and subjects i had in front. hahaha. yup. i sketch while listening. because if i listen all the way, i'll be sleepy as hell. so i tend to draw and distract myself while listening at the same time. hahaha.

Musica: limang dipang tao :: barbie almalbis
Bookworm: drawing lessons at drawspace.com
Mood Swings: escited to sketch

the other night, i had a wonderful dream that woke me up feeling really excited and fired up.

i dreamt of rictor.

oh, dont get me worng. he's a friend. i consider him my first ever best guy friend. we we're classmates during our first year high school. unfortunately his family went abroad.

ok, ok. i'll admit. at first he was my crush and all. hell, he was cute and gentleman and smart and everything! but i got the hang out of it since we spend a lot of time talking on the phone and hanging around. he even courted my friend and well, they became a couple discreetly. since they are not "legal", he would end up calling me first to check if he call my friend/his girlfriend. and if my friend isnt available, we would end up talking and he would usually complain about how he's missing her and all. eventually, they decided to break up since he'll be living in states.

during our second year, he gave me the shock of my life when someone called and tadaaaa! it was him wasting money calling long distance! haha. we would normally talk longer before he calls my friend with just a little more two minutes left in his card. i felt bad but i was more happy and thankful.

nwei, back on the dream. i was supposed to be meeting friends. when i called them, not just the 3-g where you can see them while talking, but the more high tech where the screen is waaay wider and better, he just suddenly popped out of nowhere while i was speaking to my friend. he even looked smug and smiled at me. i freaked out and screamed his name! i was so shocked that he was back in the country! i went crazy and an idea came up that i should tell him what i felt for him before we were best of friends. i dunno. then while running down the building to go to him, i woke up. damn.

i woke up happy and agitated! my mind was screaming, "rictor's back!" i was really acting grumpy and thinking what that dream meant. and the idea that i should tell him that he was my crush before we even got close. i was asking myself, "what the hell are you thinking? how come you suddenly want to tell him your feelings? that's sooooo not you." i realized that and it actually shocked me. im not the "confess your feelings" type of girl. so how come i reacted on impulse that i want to change and tell him everything without even thinking what his reaction would be? wow. that's a first. its as if, if i was about to risk dong this the first and last time, i'll gladly confess to rictor and no one else. double wow. that's weird.

maybe because i know whatever i say or confess to him, he'd still be there. as lovers or not. but definitely as best friends still.

i miss you rictor palentinos. come home soon. love, yang.

Musica: money for food :: barbie almalbis
Mood Swings: full