fullmoon_goddess

Musica: angels and devils :: dishwalla
Mood Swings: happy

sabi ng propesor ko sa pricing noong nakaraang valentine's day, ang mga intsik daw, torpe. hindi nila magawang ipakita ang tunay nilang nararamdaman. napaisip ako.

ganun ka din ba dati? ibig sabihin ba nun, dati, meron ka din naramdaman pero hindi mo lang masabe o maipaliwanag ng maayos? wala lang. naisip ko lang. napaisip xe ko kung may chance ba tlaga tayo noon. kung hindi ba one-sided ung mga nangyare noon. kung hindi lang ba ako ang nakaramdam at kung may naramdaman ka din ba noon.

oo. tama. NOON.

tapos na. nakalipas na. *sigh* tama na nga to.  

Musica: evidence :: urbandub
Mood Swings: undefined

fullmoon_goddess

a liar hate another liar when one sees the other.

wanna know why?

simply because one liar can easily notice when a lie is being said. and a liar hates it when other people lie to them because they take those as an insult to their ability to know or notice the truth. its an insult because they notice that this other liar is lying to them and unfortunately, that liar thinks he can fool another liar. damn.

did i made sense?

hmmm. 

ps. i hate liars. because i deserve to know the truth. i don't need to state reasons why i deserve to know. i just. so, stop lying to me dammit. especially if you're not good enough. its a lousy strategy to make me shut up. because, i wont. if you stand by what you believe that "its not a big deal", then so, tell the simple truth. i mean, duh. so what if you're going out for a date? at least i know where you'll be going. so you thought i'd stop you like what i used to do before? nah. i graduated from those senseless nights. those "ugh" nights that usually wasted a lot of tears. a year has passed and i told myself that, well at least you had the little bit respect of what i screamed for her sake, whatever you do now with other low-degrading girls, the hell with you. yup. the hell. im just asking you to be honest in order to avoid stupid fights. yes, i was a coward before when it comes to you. i dont speak, i dont voice out anything. not until she got sick. until then, i started to learn to fight for what we deserve. for what we need. and for what i believe. rebel? nah. now, i can say what i want. what i believe. what i fight for. i scream. i match my voice with yours. i keep my mind active and think of words to best back my feelings and emotions up.

now, im better. im stronger. im hard-headed. im stubborn. im hell. im a major-pain-in-the-ass. so what?

at least, i'm me. and i value my family.  

well, i didnt watch the whole pageant because i was watching million dollar baby that was aired on studio 23. hmmm. the day after, it was on the news. they termed it "controversial pageant". so, i was curious. then, i saw the video. haha. i was like, "oh my goodness!" O_______O

i was supposed to have an exam and interview scheduled today. i called in and asked for a re-schedule due to the transport strike that was in the news. i was up by 5:30 and i listened to the radio since i missed doing that. i was listening to mo twister, mojo jojo and grace lee at magic 89.9. their topic? the bb. pilipinas. i was so laughing hard! they even played the recorded "spoof answers" by some candidates. but the main event? of course! the one who won miss world! gosh. i was twisting and turning under the covers due to shame for her. i was like,"is this for real? and she won the miss world title??? what the...? are the judges aware of what they did?"

ok. so maybe im a bit harsh and rude. but, man. i understand that she was nervous and everything being just 17 yrs old and all. but that's in front of national tv! i mean, you have to watch and screen your words. check your grammar double time. actually, the age is a pretty lame excuse. you joined bb pilipinas. it shows that no matter how young or old you are, no matter how many times you joined other pageants, you have the beauty, the guts and the BRAIN to be a part of that prestigious event.

and what's the use of those judges? hey! they have the responsibility to choose the best one who will represent and carry our country's name in the future pageants.

what's funny too is that she called at the station. and still, she insists on using english and is proud of herself. i mean, gosh. can she even understand a thing? she even said that "i am, i was, and i were the best student of my professor..." huh? hahahaha. and watch out for the "p and f" *sigh*

im embarrassed. for having those judges! they should have thought about their decision a million times.

here's the complete question and answer of miss janina san miguel.

Paolo Bediones: Janina, how are you?
Janina San Miguel: I’m fine.
Paolo Bediones: Alright, so you won two of the major awards - Best in Long Gown, Best in Swimsuit, do you feel any pressure right now?
Janina San Miguel: No, I don’t feel any pressure right now.
Paolo Bediones: Confident! Alright! Please choose a name of the judge.
Paolo Bediones: We have Miss Vivienne Tan.
Vivienne Tan: Good Evening.
Janina San Miguel: Good Evening.
Vivienne Tan: The question is, what role did your family play to you as candidate to Binibining Pilinas?
Janina San Miguel: Well, my family's role for me is so important because there was the... they're... they was the one who's very... haha... Oh, I'm so sorry. Uhm, my pamily... my family... Oh my god! I'm... (Paolo Bediones talking: Pwede mag-Tagalog) OK. I'm so sorry. I told you that I'm so confident. Eto... Uhm, wait. Hahahaha. Uhm, sorry guys because this was really my first pageant ever because I'm only 17 years old. And... haha... I did not expect that I came from one of the tough ten. Hmm. So, but I said dot my family is the most important persons in my life. Thank you.

watch out for the PAMILY (family). IMFORTANT (important). TAF 10 (top 10). PIRST FAGEANT (first pageant). PERSONS (person). DOT (that). wasnt able to watch the pageant? you can search you tube or anywhere. she'll pop out no matter what you type. haha,

oh, before i forgot. there's also another one. the lady who won miss international! miss patricia fernandez. wow. this one's funny too. watch out for the tenses. and "we should do mother theresa??!!" what the... hahaha. although, she corrected herself at the end. :p

these are the list of the judges who were responsible for the picking out the "outrageously-embarassing-funny-confident-BRAINY" winners. no offense. but really. hahaha

Pageant judges included US Ambassador Kristie Kenney, Quezon City Mayor Sonny Belmonte, Japanese Ambassador Makoto Katsura, Philippine Ambassador to Spain Joseph Bernardo, United Breweries Group and Kingfisher Airlines Chairman Dr. Vijay Mallya, Chateau Petrus’s Jean Moueix, Entrepreneurs’ School of Asia founder Vivienne Tan, Sofitel Philippine Plaza President Oscar Salvacion, celebrities Marian Rivera and Dennis Trillo and amateur basketball player Chris Tiu MAJOR BOO JUDGES! BOO! BOO!

Musica: every now and then :: earth, wind and fire
Bookworm: bb pilipinas comments
Screen: you tube of janina san miguel and patricia fernandez
Mood Swings: embarrassed

fullmoon_goddess

i had fun today. yep. really. i enjoyed the day and laughed a lot. except for the fact that i cant eat well because of my newly adjusted braces.

no, its not a threesome but three and some. hahaha. i misssed being one of the guys. unlike in high school, i was always one of the guys. for today, i was one of the guys. hahaha. mga kagwapuhan ang kasama kong guys! hahaha. yikeeeee. hahaha

we were supposed to go to the job fair at robinsons galleria. but the companies there were mostly call centers. nalungkot kme! hahaha. well, ammer, levi, alvin and sharon have exam for some brokerage house. jerek accompanied pepo shopping. mark, john and i were left strolling at the mall. we decided to watch a movie na lang. 

may mga advantage kaya kapag one of the guys ka. libre! hahaha. as in! whahaha. thank you mark and john sa popcorn, c2 and ung mga tokens. hahaha. had fun!

john, the best tlaga! nagsisimula na ung movie sabay tanong sken, "trailer pa lang ba to?!" whahahaha! super! hahaha.

oh, yung utang ko na heart-to-heart, next time na ah. hahaha. kpag nagpa-frappe na si john at nagpa-ice monster na si mark. step-up naman guys! whooohoooo! found new movie-mates. hahaha.

oh ayan guys ha, nilagay ko kayo dito. whoooo! alam ko naman avid fan kayo ng blog ko. joke! hahaha.

pero really, thanks! had fun! sa uulitin.  

Musica: news
Screen: studio 23 news
Mood Swings: satisfied

fullmoon_goddess

well, kahit na matagal kme naghintay dahil ang aga nmen sa school, an saya pren. cguro xe ngayon ko ine-enjoy ang mga last day ng college life ko. hmmmm. kahit masakit na ung paa ko, ayos lang! kasama ko naman ang mga masasaya. whoooopeeee! an tagal ng fireworks kanina! an saya! un tlaga hinintay ko eh. ako pa? eh love na love ko ang fireworks. hahaha. kahit hindi ako gumagalaw sa pagkakatayo ko sa upuan ko kanina. kahit pagod na pagod na ang stiff kong binti, ok lang makunan lang ang fireworks. hahaha.

haaaay. mamimiss ko rin ang mga kakulitan nilang lahat. ang mga bully. ang mga pandaraya. ang mga backstab. haaay talaga.

bukas, sale! whoohoooo! excited. hahaha. addict sa sale. sayang wala ung sale-mate ko...

Mood Swings: tired and excited for tom

fullmoon_goddess

went to galleria because of the sale today to find shoes for graduation. super pagod na ko! maghapaon ata ako naglakad! and hindi ako nakakain ng maayos dahil sa braces ko! argh.

then went to megamall. wala ako nakita sa galle eh. sumunod si mark xe na-op daw xa sa friend niya. hahaha. super chismax sa krispy kreme! heart to heart na to!

hahaha. oh john, kung mabasa mo to, mainggit ka. hahaha. wala ka xe eh. hahaha. tagal nmen sa krispy kreme. sulit. enjoy. nakakawala ng pagod. sarap makipag kwentuhan. ilang hours din kme dun ah. hahaha.

sa uulitin mark. enjoy eh.

Mood Swings: happy

fullmoon_goddess

i soooo love this song. urbandub's awesome! this song definitely ranks third from new tattoo and first of summer! wiii.

i heart <3 urbandub <3

Musica: evidence :: urbandub

fullmoon_goddess

im feeling happy and ecstatic lately. yes, a little bit lonely due to the graduationg thing, but now, im enjoying everything i've got at the moment. some people never fail to make me laugh every single day. yup. you got it right. friends. chill out friends. movie date friends. feasib friends. plain friends. im enjoying a lot of chilling out and kwentuhan ever at some coffee shop or anywhere comfy. that's more like me. sitting comfortably and talking, listening and laughing out loud with friends while taking pictures that captures the moment and just watch the world pass us by. cool. bum? maybe a little. but hey, in this very hectic and competitive world we're trying to fit in, we need all the chillax and fun we could get. right guys? can't wait for our next chill out session. oh, and hopefully, more movie dates to come! hahahaha.

don't get us wrong. we may appear very non-committed and as if we have all the time in the world to just sit and talk. but we just need diversion or else, the pressure is going to kill us all. yup. we have our own problems and of course the job interviews every now and then. but like i said, killing time with friends makes life easier and more enjoyable. who said friends works best only if you're deep in trouble? nah. they're also the best company when you're happy and you wanted to just enjoy life even for a moment. thanks guys. for always completing my days and nights.

phoebe, you owe me one free movie and a sale, dear. name the place and i'll be there! haha.

Musica: with you :: chris brown
Mood Swings: content

fullmoon_goddess

i am so tired of being judged by you and your friends. its just unfair. just because i wasnt able to meet your expectations and didnt bend to your wishes, i was judged harshly and unjust. i am really sick and tired of trying to please you all. especially that i consider each and everyone of you as my friend but just one comment or story or whatever from one person and all of you turns your back on me.

its just so plain unfair. yes. dont ask me why. dont play dumb-ass and act as if you dont think its unfair. just because you're all closer to each other doesnt give anyone of you the right to treat me this way. as if you know everything. well, karlo may have told you something but that isnt enough. since we're all friends, how come you didnt hear my side of the story? how come you're all giving me the cold shoulder? and why does the phrase, "nagbago ka na tlaga..." always being thrown at my face? so, where's the fairness in that? where does friendship work in that kind of attitude and point of views? crystal clear un-fairness.

you dont have the right to throw accusations at my feet. you dont have the right to judge me based on what others have told you. (God knows what that is) you dont have the right to treat me this way if you're my friends. or is this friendship thing a one-sided relationship?

i dont need to explain to you all. i dont need to keep up with your damnable expectations of me. i dont need to be "plastic" to you all and act as if everything's fine when clearly, it's not. i dont answer to anyone of you. well, except karlo. him alone. i may have hurt him before and i still may have hurt him now due to multi-tasking and miscommunication. but still, i only answer to him. explanations and everything will be surrendered only to him.

just because i wasnt able to log-in my yahoo messenger and answer your messages i was accused of being different. *sigh* just grow up. we all have our own responsibilities now. we're not high school students anymore. we have our priorities set to the future. some of may have changed but that doesnt make us less of who we were before.

im asking for understanding for my words. it just pushed me to the edge when all of a sudden, a madrama person was asking a lot of questions why the hell im busy at school and why im not txting or going online before. i told the truth that i was deathly-busy with the feasib papers but i think he thought it's not an acceptable excuse. then poof! "nagbago ka na nga..." oh well, if that's what you think..

im too tired to correct you. too lazy to repeat things over and over and over...again. if that's what you want to believe, that's ok. sometimes the laziness and hell-i-care attitude in me takes over and eliminate the that's-not-right and explaination attitude. yup. im so getting over this. i may not be the perfect ex-girlfriend for your friend, whom i think you really care for, resulting the way you're all treating me, but i sure have given him my love, care, trust, fidelity, attention and time. i may have been a pain the ass, but still, you dont have the right to do this to me.

i dont need people who pretend to be my friends, but can easily be manipulated by others' point of views. im contented with a few but real friends whom i can be true and i know will still accept me with flaws and all.

as much as possible i avoid dropping of names. but i wanted to clear the air between me and some of his friends. sorry for droppin your name a little.  

fullmoon_goddess

i may not have a kuya to call my own, but God blessed me with lots of kuya's to share with my cousins. hahaha.

yup. ever since, the surname "de castro" is really popular at our school where i attended elementary till high school. most especially during my high school days. i may be a "santos" but i also have strong "de castro" blood in me. haha. my high school teachers usually asks me and my other cousins if we are somehow related to "de catsro". and that means one of our kuyas. yes. they can be called as teacher's enemy. they're known for their very maangas ways and bully type. they are the typical makulit and pala-away guys. so almost all of the teachers know at least one "de castro". hahaha.

some may think of it as an advantage or others as a disadvantage. advantage because as a girl, the typical jerk backs off once the news got to them that you are part of the infamous de castro clan. disadvantage because some teachers looks at you like as if they're expecting you to do the same as one of your kuyas had done before.

i had my own share of kaangasan at school. my own way of kakulitan. but having a lot of popular (if that's what they'll call it) and well, handsome (runs in the family. naks! hahaha) kuyas, in some ways, it saved my own ass. other bully guys tried to be friends with me because they know my kuya and they think he's cool. hahaha. if only they know! hahaha.

although they are known for their thick-heads and maangas type, they are good natured people and, well, ok, cool. hahaha.

just one example of their being "friendly" is while at the guys restroom, my kuya was there obviously doing his own thing when another guy, a lower batch came in and decided to turn off the lights. what happened? he got punched right in the face and he asked one of my girl cousins if she is related to that guy and told her that kuya punched him. hahaha. while hearing this story, it made me laugh real hard and automatically went on defense. in the first place why the hell did that guy turn off the lights?! hahaha. sorry. i usually stick to my family first.

other stories, when one of my ate wants to play volleyball but this guy doesnt want to share the ball. she went to one of our kuyas and told him that the guy didnt want to share and being a jerk. what did kuya do? he waited at the bottom of the stairs. asked calmly if he's that guy, then whapam! got punched in the stomach for bullying my other ate. kuya even told that guy to go ask for an apology and well, he did asked my ate. hahaha

yes. i know some may think that they're war-freaks. they make think less and let their own fists do the talking. what more can i say? they were in high school. i myself had my own share of being a bully. but i did it legally. hahaha. some perks of being a CAT officer. hahaha :p

well, just wanted to share. i know i want my own kuya. hell, that's my number one wish for myself but wont ever come true. eventhough i am an only child, like i said before, God blessed me with lots of kuya to share with my other cousins. kuyas who treats me as one of their own sisters. and that doesnt mean just the happy part. but also the nagging and bully part a sister enjoys.

Musica: a song for mama :: boysz II men
Screen: you tube a song for mama
Mood Swings: smiling and reminiscing

fullmoon_goddess

watched step up 2 with my movie buddies. cool dancing moves. although the storyline was somewhat shallow. but it's fine. the music and moves made up for it.

chilled at ice monster to talk and laugh and discuss things as if we're on our own retreat. hahaha. funny. john was quiet though, as always. *peace* went home late, as usual. hahaha. had fun, again. 'till our next chillout session!

NAMIMISS KO ANG....

grade six barkada ko. oo. pasaway. bully. siga. maldita. pala-away. teacher's enemy. matigas mukha. name it, we're it. ang mga literal na habulan sa mga teachers dahil overtime kame sa school. may curfew xe. eh dahil bagong lipat kme ng bahay noon, sinusundo pa ko ng mom ko after work. dahil wala akong kasama maghintay, like a true barkada, sinasamahan nila ko kahit may curfew at bawal. hahaha. ayun! kinabukasan, lahat ng names nila nasa bulletin board sa hallway! mga list ng hindi maglalaro sa intrams, hindi kasama sa ggraduate. as usual, name it, kasama kami lage! actually, sa barkada, ako lang ang laging hindi kasama sa mga list na un. xe may reason ako. alam ng school na sinusundo ako kaya may valid reason ako. ayun! lusot lage ang drama ko at barkada ang sumasalo ng mga kalokohan. hahahaha. i miss those days...

third year family ko. st. clare. the best section pren ever para sa buong high school years ko. eto ang pamilya ko. ung type na may mga barkada pero kpag pinagsama-sama mo lahat, mag mmerge at mag mmerge ng walang problema. walang conflicts sa bawat grupo. isang malaking family tlaga. tsaka first time pren sken ang lalake na adviser! si sir dueñas! oo, hindi siya ganun ka-concern sa classroom at hindi siya ganun ka disciplinarian. pero naman! noon lang ako nakakita ng adviser na super hands on sa intrams! at wag ka! kahit maingay ang klase, bigla na lang siya magsasalita ng "class, with respect to the given angle..." trigonometry xe ang tinuturo niya, so kame parang..."ok. tahimik na tayo xe trigo ang tinuturo nito. no choice kundi makinig" i think effective tlaga ung approach. well, at least smen ha. xe sa ibang section, super terror daw ung si sir. as in pag galit, nako, nakakatakut. haha. pero smen naman, ayos lang. nagtatapon nga lang siya ng libro don sa "high voltage" na kwarto kpag iniiwan nmen ung books nmen. hahaha. aside pa don, third year ako nagstart mgtraining for CSPST. (women's CAT version). kaya madame tlaga kme pinagsamahan ng mga clare family ko. haaaay. i miss st clare soooooo badly.

james of zebedee. whew! di ako ganun ka active dito xe officer na ko. pero ok ang bonding nmen. kumpleto ang variety. may officer, may scounting, may crusader! lahat! CAT officer na guy lang ang kulang nmen. pero nwei, ok pren. masaya. makulit. may sariling mundo. tight ang samahan. hanggang ngayon, lumalabas pren naman kme. painom inom. pa easy easy. haaay.

ewan ko ba. i miss them. haaay. especially my clare family.  

Musica: step up 2 OST
Screen: church :: tpain