whew! free at last. sembreak has come! (well at least for us and other fortunate students as well) i could really use the rest and the unwind part. hahaha. just yesterday, after passing the stressful feasibility paper, we were supposed to go to trinoma mall but due to some events, we postponed. so i went to megamall alone. so what? i wanna enjoy and chill out. hahaha. i managed to eat at a resto ALONE. (unlike before. i refuse to eat alone in a crowded place.) i managed to eat california maki which i really missed. haha. then after, went strolling and looked at stuffs. (preparing myself for the coming sale. hahaha!) i remembered naomi's birthday so since i was already at the mall, i decided to but her birthday gift. buying for baby gifts is really not my expertise. i was there at the baby clothes stall for 30 mins deciding to get this pair or that pair, or this skirt only, or that blouse only. hahaha. i decided to get the cute pink top one. after almost 45 mins! hahaha. crap. after that, still walking ahead, went to cinderella because i noticed the pile of people there. so, there was an early sale in cinderella. i was thinking, "hmmmmm. even if they put up this sale, their clothes are still expensive." but i went in just to feed my SALE-addiction. i noticed the seventeen store. their shirts usually ranged from 300 and up. but there was a sign that shirts now only costs 199! i was like, "WHAT? FOR REAL?" hahaha. good thing they have lotsa sizes. and they're really comfy. that's what expensive shirts give. comfort and sizes that really fit and look good to whatever body structure. since i was dazed, i bought 2 shirts with a beach theme. i like those kind of shirts. funky, laid back beach drawings and style. good! i was thinking if i will also buy the "my future's so bright, i need sunglasses" shirt but decided against it. i thought, "well, my 'future' (if you happen to get what the shirt means) is not that 'bright'" ahahahaha! even the branded perfumes are on a buy one-take one. THAT is a really good bargain! no doubt. next stop. watsons. bought a concealer. haha. i was asking the sales lady and she showed me how to apply and what's better, the liquid one or the stick one. the liquid one's effect is better, so its the liquid one i bought! this is a very cool day. i feel happy so i went shopping. even went to surplus to try on some skirts. as if i wear skirts a lot. but i like them. makes me feel delicate and feminine. since i know dad isnt home, i ordered my own dinner and then went home. what a terrific day. my favorite part would be the "cinderella sale". that's pretty hard to beat. hahaha. i cant wait for the next sale with my sale-mate phoebe!

Mood Swings: excited

yipee! want to greet two of my friends here. haha.

happy birthday

 jacel amado

and

rictor palentinos! 

okay, okay. i wont put how old you two are. well added message for the guy.

rictor,

hey. how are you? well, i hope you're doing fine wherever you are. ring me ok? havent heard anything from you since second year high school. i miss you a lot dude. you're my first guy best friend. i have lotsa stories for you. keep me updated in case you find my blog on a search engine or whatever. *sigh* i really do hope you get to read this. i miss you, rictor.

yang 

Musica: canon :: orpheus chamber orchestra
Mood Swings: pissed

i find it funny that last time when we talked about gundam wing, we both realized that it was aired when i was still in grade five while you're already on your second or third year college. hahaha. it's cool actually. and funny too when the thought sinked in, in your system. we didnt mind and realized the age gap here. cool. not that its a major-big deal to fuss too much. but the friendship is working. that's good. that's pretty cool.

p.s. and notice that we both like the gundam "heavy-arms" such a cool one.  

is it possible to be too angry to someone to the point that you can't talk to that person anymore and give him a cold shoulder?

well, if that's possible, then, yes. i am that angry. i despise the things you both do. i can't accept those shallow reasons both of you have. i can't ignore those things because both of you tend to wreck a good relationship. a family.

yes. at the moment, my mom is not physically here. she's gone. but that doesn't mean that other women can barge into our lives and try to act as if my mom didn't exist before.

i am extremely loyal. to my family, relatives and friends. you can't change that fact. being the only child, i have this tendency to protect the people surrounding me because they are the only ones there for me since i am alone. my mom definitely comes first. i don't give a damn about the bullshits they say that, "well, since your mom's gone, what's your point of view when it comes to other women?" that's definitely-major bullshit man. even a joke like that sucks. people are lucky i don't tend to punch them straight on the face and left their broken nose bleeding like hell.

so, to be direct to the point, I AM SELFISH when it comes to this subject matter. so what?! it's my mom we're talking here man. MY M-A-M-A. so try to stop giving me those bullshit-fucking things about whores and sluts.

even knowing that there are no strings attached, damn. what's the deal in that? a few minutes? a few hours? a few days? a few stolen moments over the phone and non-stop text messages? FUCK THAT.

I HATE IT. I HATE YOU BOTH.

i can't help it. are you not afraid of what they call "KARMA"? damn. you both have daughters. aren't you afraid that the one they'll marry someday might cheat on them? leave them with the kids and go with his other woman? that eventually, they might do something worse to your daughters because i tell you dude, this called karma is such a bitch.

i don't know who's the bad influence here. you or him? you because you're widowed? or he because his wife refuse to give what you two both call as her "wifely-duties"? so who's who?

LIARS.

that's the perfect word. you'll go out to buy a prepaid load at 7/11 store at 11:00pm then return home at around 2:00am? is 7/11 that far away from home? is there still a heavy traffic that the usually 15mins drive to 7/11 turned to almost 3 fucking hours? oh no no no. don't start giving those bullshit excuses. i don't believe you anymore.

that's hard. to lose the trust you gave someone you love because of continuous lies...and women? oh well, i'll leave it with a question mark since you still insists that it's nothing.

i just wish i'm not here to witness your sins. wish i'm stupid enough to not know what you're doing. wish that i don't have the knowledge of what is right and wrong. but i know. im not stupid. and i can't, and definitely don't want to tolerate it...
 
because i'm a daughter. the idea of fooling a mother is not on my list.

because i'm a woman. i don't want these kind of things happening to me in the future. i fear for myself and the other women out there who doesn't want anything more in life but just a happy family.

because loyalty counts. trust is an essential part of a relationship. so in turn, you can equate that given trust with loyalty and/or fidelity and honesty. i think love, trust, honesty, loyalty and/or fidelity are all you need to survive a relationship. those are requisites. without one, it'll be harder to cope up with things.

forgive my language and words. writing at the peak of my emotion is good and at the same time bad for me. good in the sense that i get to release emotional loads. bad because i really think of the best word that describes everything. and it includes harsh, vulgar and hurtful words. blame me? that's ok. i wrote those words so i'll be responsible for it. and besides, you can't argue with me to choose a more discreet adjective if that's what i feel. it's my emotions working here dear. MY EMOTIONS. MY FEELINGS.

so, i hope i didn't offend anyone who are not related to me and just normal blog hoppers.

just pouring my heart out.

thank you for reading.

yang. Ü

it was my mom's birthday last ovtober 18. so,

happy

birthday

mama!

i miss you.

i love you.

i was with ate cynthia's family and we ate dinner at eastwood, libis. i find it funny that when ate cynthia told my tito's that she's going to borrow me for a while, they all said their approval. as if they all have their own "say" about it. they all nodded their agreement and said ok. it means a lot. what they did. it shows that they all care. having all of them say "ok, sure, oh cge, walang problema" meas that they're concern. it's weird because i felt like they all gave their blessings when all ate cynthia said was that we're eating out. hahaha. funny and yet touching.

Musica: nada

yesterday, phoebe and my most awaited day came! SALE! hahaha. we started around 11 am. damn! there's so many people even that early! and even thinking that that was a friday so there are still work and office. megamall was full of people! hahaha. we walked nonstop. we only rested our feet during lunch for maybe about 30 minutes? then, walk here, there and everywhere again! we hopped from one store to the other. we tried this outfit to that one. it was tiring but it was fun. around maybe 5pm, we went to robinsons galleria. hahaha. so much for tiring huh? at least there are less people. the funny thing was, i bought abag.the display showed that it costs around P500+ then with a less of 25%. so i was like, ok. i'll get this. i asked the sales lady for a new stock. because the display was dirty. she gave me one. then when already paying for it, i no0ticed that the price tag was around P300+ with a less 50% discount. i was like, "is this the same style that i want?" i checked it and it was really the same. so i ended up paying for just P175 something. hahaha. real sale! hahahaha.