fullmoon_goddess

okay. this is weird.

i must have a good voice over the phone to have someone keep calling every night and every chance he got. and sometimes, he just calls to say goodnight. i must have these awesome stories that someone want to shut up and just listen wholeheartedly. now, i can't think of a day he hasn't called. he's now officially a constant caller in our house. maybe im not that boring and low toned over the phone as i used to think. 

just maybe.

hmmm. this is a game. with rules and all. i intend to win and hold myself until he admits he lost. when that day comes, that's when i'll let myself lose. but until then, im determined to win big time. hahaha. even if our term ends, i still think, we'll still be friends. we happen to share some things and personal views on such topics and problems. we're really cool. hahaha.

nah. we're friends.

friends with benefits.

im not elaborating it. think whatever you want but i won't explain until the right time comes. which i wonder, when? hahaha. but really. you're entitled to think whatever. you may be disgusted or laugh if you want, or your mind might turn green and accuse us of just being friends. hahaha. i'll laugh big time. because i'm not confirming things as well as i'm not also denying it. i'm playing safe. that's one tactic to win this game.

Mood Swings: mischievous

so, i've been living with my pm schedule. im getting used to it because my biological clock is going well with it. from sleeping to waking up everyday. my problem right now is it's so damn hot when i leave the house! argh. and besides, someone is in tuned with my schedule. i mean, its the other way around, i got in tuned with someone's schedule. hahaha.

hmmmmm. so, my ust friends are really asking me about someone even though i was quiet and not mentioning a word. they just sensed it and keep on throwin me jokes and questions who the guy was. hahaha. silly. then i told cyd about our "weird" situation. haha. i called mr yummy "BIO-man" since he's taking up biology. when i told mr yummy that, he laughed and even suggested that he'll be "pink 5". funny.

well, each day i can say is getting more and more weird. not weird in it's literal sense. it's just that, he's showing more care and concern. like worrying when i skipped my everyday ritual of txting him that i'm already going home after my class ended, and even agreeing with my dad that i shouldn't go and spend the dawn at a bar with friends. he practically threw his opinion when i was telling him that my dad didn't allowed me to go to a bar and he just blurted out the words like, "yeah, me too. i dont want you to go" and i was like, "huh? who's side are you taking dude? you should be on my side! mine! hahaha."

i think, he's getting used to my silly antics and point-of-views and some of those little things i do that he actually looks forward to it, find it when i miss to do something and actually miss it at the end of each day. same goes to me actually. though he sometimes don't reply due to unsufficient funds, i know that he at least appreciate it when i inform him where i am. im just returning his habit of informing me where he is and what he's doing. and no night would pass by without the gudnyt fone call. if fate is not on our side one night, he at least still send his gudnyts thru txt and tell me why he can't call. wow. when i thought about it, i actually admire the effort he's exerting to make the every night call and the dissapointment he's feeling when he can't make the call.

that's it for now. busy with school! damn. just third week and busy as hell. too many to read and interviews and research!

P.S. jericho had his guess and bet on what will happen in the future about my "friendship with benefits" with mr yummy. hahaha. he seem so sure about it.

Musica: umbrella :: rihanna
Mood Swings: sleepy

im angry and hurt. yes, i am. not the "volcano-type" angry. just plain angry. why? simple. i am very proud of my "status" as a best friend because im a dedicated one. but I was hurt, (note: hurt came first. Hurt before anger. I was hurt first) when I was classified as just a close friend. Yes, that’s shallow. But I was hurt nonetheless. Coming from someone who is also important in my best friend’s life. coming from someone i know she loves.

i hate it when i am insensitive. but i hate it more when i become sensitive enough to be actually hurt with those shallow words. xie explained it to me already. and yes, i understand dear. really. but it's hard to ignore the pain i felt in my chest when the thought sinked in. no xie, dont think it was your fault. it wasnt. i asked and you just gave his answer. dont think about anything. im just being sensitive and shallow. super shallow. im sorry. i know how you hate shallow people.

i've got to release the tension i felt and actually write it out. beacuse if i dont, im gonna carry it longer than all of you can think. now, i can get over it. no matter what happens xie, im here. you know that for a fact. actually, you know better than that. keep me still updated and dont filter out his words just for my sake. hahaha.

sorry for being shallow. it was just a direct hit to tell me that im nothing but just someone close. but im okay now that i've released it all. dont mind them. we're ok, so what? hahaha

Mood Swings: shallow and hurt