special thanks to karen sicat, for checking my redundancy. and mafe san vicente for saying that this entry is beautiful even in drafts. hugs to both of you.

phrases are in blue and facts are in red

you miss her

you miss her terribly and her name doesnt even contain the letters Y-A-N-G 

you know your priorities

you know the important things and persons in your life and you put them first on your list. and my name slipped a notch under her name.

you're still ok.. i think

the fact is, you're changing every single day. the way you laugh, talk, tell stories, argue with me and the way you comment and feel about same stories and topics changes. same goes with our PAST beliefs. 

it's not your fault

seriously, you're developing an "im-sorry-it's-my-fault" syndrome. and kidding aside, its really getting worse! 

i'm always and forever here

why miss me when im always here? with one call, im already at your side? i hope you'll miss me like (or maybe, MORE) you miss her. and wish that you do that soon before you finally notice that im slipping away from our grip. 

share... and share alike

for real, i hate and despise the fact that i share you with her. im selfish, so what?! 

are you married?

i noticed you barely wear your ring. want someone else's ring? oh well, i'll keep mine intact. i'll stick to what i have and if someday, somebody wanted to give his/her ring to me, i'll still and always wear your ring.

i'll call you soon

i think it's better if i'm at another country or planet. anywhere away from you. that way, maybe you'll contact me everyday and miss me like crazy instead of being close to you this way but unfortunately forgotten and unnoticed.

i love you

yes, i love you. you love her. and she loves you back. then, after you two loving each other, you love me. but, i love you still.

move on

this is for me. coz i have to leave the pain and wait for the scars to heal at the same time start to fix my happy life again and bring it back to circulation. 

i'm fine. dandy

after stating my very own phrases and facts, im still dandy. and i miss you, and i know your priorities and i hope you're okay and it's not your fault and i'm still here and i have no choice but to share and we're not married and i'll call you soon and i still love you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 but i can't do anything about my bleeding heart. 

Mood Swings: bitter and hurt

last December 24, i felt really super duper sad. my mom was sick, our family and relatives didnt pursue the christmas party/reunion every noche buena, and im out of the mind of a certain friend. i was really sad that i was thinking of crying. this was the saddest noche buena but the most thankful for.

at last, December 25 came. and as well as the whole De Castro Clan! If i was deathly sad last 24, my relatives surely know how to keep the laughs going! i am very thankful for them. my whole family! my cousins and i are singing to the max! and i hold the highest score of 99! hahaha! videoke queen! hahaha. this is the most memorable (sad and happy) and thankful christmas ever! thank you for my titos who are always there for my mom. my titas who support their husbands and also love my mom. my cousins and pamangkins, for making us all laugh with those high pitched songs and boom tarat moves.

thank you LORD for letting us borrow my mom this Christmas and i hope New Year too. and of course, thank you for giving me such a wonderful, supportive, hilarious and loving clan. my family will always be there for me. 101% sure. even if they already have boyfriends/girlfriends or even wife/husband and children, we still stick together and we never fail to prioritize our love for each other. family comes first before love life. hahaha. because love life are not permanent. they can be here for a while but in the end, family and true friends that you tend to forget when you are happily in love are the same persons you can go to when those people you loved leave you.

"miss kita ngaun christmas. . . actually araw araw naman kita namimiss." is this for me or for her? or maybe just a joke/pick-up line this christmas season? happy holidays!

Mood Swings: touched