fuck.

very early for me to receive this message.

im studying for accounting.

and yet, after reading your txt, i lost interest in reading the fucking inventories and just stared at the window and think for minutes what to reply.

i didnt know that i'll be sad again like this. i didn't lose you. it's just that i think, we're already in the process of losing. *sigh* this really makes me feel sad. i know for a fact that we have one of the greatest foundation ever. you trusting me. me listening to you. and yet... now... mixed with gossips, we're ruined.

ruined because of misunderstandings. no communications. deceptive eyes. non-stop gossips. not enough facts and explanations.

hurt from your decision, me, not having a chance to do anything, accept the consequences of being judged by malicious, deceptive and liar eyes and gossips.

wanting to clear my name is impossible to others but i believe, not to you. you have the broadest mind and the clear clean emotions. armed with the right people and perfect time, i'll fix this. i'll fix us. hopefully, i'll be able to talk to you again.

damn! i miss it all.

Mood Swings: sad

"he" will always remind me of "Y-O-U"

fullmoon_goddess

sa wakas! tapos na ang nakaka-stress na departmentals! qualifying na lang. i am really happy today. kahit na pagpasok ko ng room kanina eh nakatingin ang mga maiiinit na mata sa kin, wa paki! masaya ako eh.

i saw you again. hahaha. ayoko na. last week, alam ko nakita mo kami ni lenny sa corridor. pero, wala! walang pansinan! dahil ba mei atraso ka sken? buti alam mo! hahaha. okei lang yan. patagalan.

pauwi na ko. armed with my mp3, sasakay na ko ng tricycle. and then biglang nagj-joke ung driver. grabe. at first, smile lang ako. then habang tumatagal. tawa na ko ng tawa. as in! tears started to fell from my eyes! kelan ba ko huling beses naiyak sa kakatawa? my gawd! di ko na maalala! tapos tawa na kami ng tawa lahat. tapos sabi nung driver, "oh diba? masaya dito! hindi yung nagsusunog kayo ng kilay o sobra kayo magtrabaho. dito masaya."

then na-realize ko, oo nga nuh! nakalimutan ko na kung pano tumawa talaga. sa dami ng mga nagyayare, at sobrang pag-aaral, wala ng masayang nangyayare sken.. haay!

salamat manong!

Mood Swings: happy